Monthly Archives: January 2012

A Lazy Morning

Too tired to post today.  Ran a lot yesterday … need to sleep in today so I can run a lot later today.

Dreaming.  Dreaming about doggie treats.  A bowl of doggie treats.  A BIG bowl of doggie treats.

And chasing squirrels.  Chased my first squirrel last weekend.  Maybe I will tell you about it tomorrow.  Right now I want to sleep.

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Look! Up in the Sky!

The principles of flying are simple.  It’s all about lift vs. gravity, and speed vs. drag.  In fact, it is so simple that a puppy should be able to do it.  Especially a puppy like me.

I know that I have the speed.  I can run circles around everyone else who lives here.  I am one fast little puppy. So the speed part of the flying equation is satisfied.

Now for the lift.

This may be a little trickier.  I don’t have wings, like a bird, so can’t use those.  But I have been trying something that I learned from watching the movies … I’m trying to flap my ears — like Dumbo — to get the necessary lift to offset the pull of gravity.  I weigh over 50 pounds now, a lot more than I used to, but still not my full grown-up weight.  So I figure this may be a good time to try flying.

Here you can see me trying to flap my ears and get off the ground.  I’m very close to achieving flight, as you can tell.  Didn’t quite get it, however.  Maybe I need to get both my ears to flap in unison … that might help.

Another thing that might help is for me to find a magic feather, just like Dumbo used to help him fly.  I’ve been trying to use this magic piece of wood that I found, but it doesn’t have the right kind of magic, I guess.

But I will keep on with my flying lessons.  Meanwhile, you should keep a watch in the skies above you.  Someday you may see me up there, soaring high in the sky.

 

 

A Better Way to Clean Dishes

Mom and dad got a new box.  It’s a big box, and they put their dirty dishes in it, then they close it up and push a button.  It makes a little noise, and in a short time those same dishes are clean.

It’s nice, and shiny, and really quiet.  They probably spent a lot of money on it.  That’s too bad, because I have a better way, and much cheaper way, to clean the dishes for them.

If you watch me when I am served my breakfast or dinner you will see that I love to eat.  I don’t leave anything behind, and when I am done eating I lick the bowl clean.

Very clean.  I am sure that I get my bowl as clean as mom and dad would if they put it into that big box.

So my suggestion is that they return that box and instead let me, the puppy, clean all of their dishes.  I would do a very good job of it and wouldn’t complain about all the dishes (like they so often do — I’ve heard them).

I know my puppy-nomics and am sure this is a more effective and cost efficient method of cleaning the dishes.  It won’t use any electricity, it will save on water, and will not use any soaps or detergents that might harm the environment.  The only cost of operation would be a few puppy treats.

And with all the money that they save, just think of all the new toys that they could buy for me!

 

 

Tags – I’m It!

I’ve got new jewelry, yes I do.  Look at this picture … look at my neck.  I’ve got a new collar and tags!  Don’t I look grand with my tags and collar?  I’m looking more like a grown-up dog every day.

I feel important now that I have tags.  Do you remember the movie, Lady and the Tramp?  It was a wonderful film – it has dogs in it! When Lady got her collar and tags it was a big deal.  I remember what Trusty the bloodhound said, when he first saw Lady with her new tags:

“Wearin’ the greatest honor man can bestow. The badge of faith and respectability.”

Yes, I feel honored to wear these tags.  They’re new!  They’re shiny!  They make a wonderful jingling sound.  I love to run around and listen to my tags jingle as I bounce.  It is a terrific sound.

Mom and dad tried to get a close-up of me wearing my tags, but of course I was so excited that I couldn’t hold still.  So they finally got a surrogate to model the tag so that you gentle humans could see my tag up close.

Isn’t that a classy tag?  Wouldn’t you like to wear it?

Sorry, you can’t.  Your name isn’t Bailey.  And you are not a dog.

 

Rain, Rain, Go Away

“If the rain comes the puppies run and hide,
They’d rather stay inside,
If the rain comes, if the rain comes,”

Those are the lyrics that the Beatles should have written.  Because, last weekend, I met rain.

I didn’t like it.

Oh, I will admit that I did like the fact that my people had a nice, big towel with which to dry me off when I came back in from being outside in that cold, wet, awful rain.  I love being rubbed down with a nice towel … and then grabbing it and playing tug-a-towel afterwards.  That part was nice.

But … back to the rain.  It was wet.  It was cold.  And yet, they made me go outside, several times a day.

The purry-things who live in the house got to stay inside.  They didn’t have to get all wet (now that would have been funny to see).  They got to stay in because they have this thing called a “litter box”.

I’m not sure what a litter box is … my people won’t let me get close to it.  But it smells good, and I’m sure it would be fun to play in.  If there was a litter box big enough for a puppy, then I could stay inside where it is warm and dry.  If there was a litter box big enough for a puppy, then I could play and dig and roll and have a great time without getting all wet.

Will someone please talk to my people about getting me a litter box?  Please?  I’ll even give you one of my puppy-treats if you do.

But then, if I had a litter box, I wouldn’t have to go outside and get wet.  I wouldn’t have to be dried off with the big, fuzzy towel. And I wouldn’t be able to play tug-a-towel.

Life is never full of easy choices …

 

 

Football Season is Over

This past weekend was a sad time for football.  Things looked so promising; a tough loss is hard to take.

No, I am not talking to you gentle 49er fans, or even any Ravens’ followers out there.  I am talking about real football, the kind that we clever puppies play.

This is a picture of me earlier in the season, playing football with MY ball.  It’s obviously early in the season because I’m much smaller than I am now.

You will recall from my previous post (“Football Should be Played with Four Feet“,  1/2/12 –  http://wp.me/p262M4-1I )  that I would chase this ball around and kick it with any of my four paws.  After it bounced away I would chase it and pounce on it again.  It is a fun game and I could play it for hours.

Well, this past weekend I suffered a devastating football loss.  No, the reason was not due to a fumble, or a missed field goal, or a missing dog treat.  It was a loss caused by … a broken ball.  Yup, the ball got a hole in it.  Well, it was more like a tear.  Whatever, it wouldn’t roll anymore, so it wasn’t fun to chase around the yard.  I felt terrible — the season was over.  I didn’t know what to do. I was devastated.

So I did the next best thing …   I chewed the ball.

The real loss, however, was when mom found the tattered ball.  She didn’t see the chewing possibilities that it presented (you gentle humans never have understood the joy of chewing that we puppies experience) and so she threw that ball away.

(Whine, whine)  Oh well, wait until next season!

Driving People Happy

Dad took me for my first driving lesson yesterday.  Well, I wasn’t behind the wheel … yet.  Soon, however, I am sure that I will be.  Not sure yet, though, how I will steer and use the pedals at the same time.  But if you gentle humans can do it, then we clever puppies will figure out a way.

In this first lesson I learned how to pay attention to everything that was happening around me as we drove down the street.  It wasn’t hard to do, so I’m surprised that so many people still are seemingly clueless to what is happening while they are driving.  Like the people in the silver coupe who … well, we won’t go into details here.  Puppies don’t like to bring stress into people’s lives.  People do that enough.

I also practiced sticking my tongue out while we drove.  That is something that all we dogs do, and do well.  You humans haven’t gotten the hang of it yet (ha ha, ‘hang’ of it – get it?  The tongue just hangs out of my mouth.)

It isn’t hard to do, and people always smile when they see a dog in a car with his tongue hanging out.  You people should really try this more … then people who are driving would be happier.

Try it, when you are on your commute today or when you go to pick up the little person at school.  Stick your tongue out … see what reaction you get from others.  But if you have been digging in the lawn, make sure that there isn’t any grass still stuck on your tongue.

Approaching the Sound Barrier

Speed.  I am speed. Faster than fast, quicker than quick.  I am Lightning.

(I’ll give a doggie bone to whoever can place where that quote comes from.)

Yes, I am fast.  Faster than fast. Faster than my mom.  Faster than my dad.  Even faster than Melanie.  I am fast.  Often, I am even faster that the camera.  You have to be fast with the shutter finger to catch me.  And whether I’m coming, or going, I’m fast.  Too fast for the camera.

For example, when I was out playing soccer with Melanie, I was fast.  See how quick I was?  I even scored a goal, as you can see here.  Well, you can sort of see.

I was even faster than the person, whom you can barely see way in the background .

Outside or inside, I am fast. Time waits for no puppy, they say, and this puppy waits for no camera.  You’ve got to be alert, you’ve got to be ready, you’ve got to be fast to capture a photo of me.

I run so fast that I even break the sound barrier.  I know this because I run, and I run, and I don’t hear when my people call my name.  Therefore I must be running faster than the speed of sound.

And now, I need to stop writing and post this to the blog, then go outside. The rain has stopped and it looks like a good morning for running!

 

 

 

A Quiet Day

Some days it is nice just to lie back and relax.

Of  course, this picture wasn’t taken today.  Today is cold, and cloudy, and wet.  And today I am a much bigger puppy. Still, it does point out the benefits of taking some time to just enjoy the nicer things in life.

Like a puppy.

And a 2×4.

 

Have a nice day, gentle humans.  I’m going to take it easy today.

 

(Do you really believe that?)

 

 

Rain is Coming

“Rain is coming.”

That is what my mom said.  I got all excited.  Oh boy, rain is coming!  I can’t wait.  I’ve never seen rain before, at least not that I can remember.  Will I like rain? Will he rub my head and bring me treats to eat?

Yesterday our friend Jennifer came.  She is nice, and I was glad to see her.  I jumped up and whined and waited until she got in the door to say “Hello” to me.  I was glad that she came to our house.

And now rain is coming.  But, who is rain?  I don’t know.

Or, maybe rain isn’t a ‘who.’  Maybe it is a ‘what.’  In that case, what is rain?  Is it a new toy?  Oh boy, I love toys.  I love to chew them, and carry them around with me.  I particularly like the ones that make noise, like the squeaky chicken.  Mom thought that I would have ripped that chicken to pieces by now, but no, why would I do that?  It is much more fun to make it squeak!  Squeak, squeak, squeak!  Such a nice sound.

I bet that rain is going to be a toy for me to play with outside. My dad keeps saying that “rain is coming” and looking in the backyard. Maybe it’ll be like this nice plastic bucket-thing that I found in the yard.  I carried this around for a long time, running with it, chewing on it, playing ‘keep-away’ with my people.

I hope that rain is something that I can chew.  I’m getting tired of the plastic things, or the slippers and socks, and even the wallpaper.  I need a new experience.  I need rain.

Oooo, rain is coming.  The pretty lady on the weather forecast said that it, or he, will be here tonight.  I’m so excited.  Are you?