I feel important now that I have tags. Do you remember the movie, Lady and the Tramp? It was a wonderful film – it has dogs in it! When Lady got her collar and tags it was a big deal. I remember what Trusty the bloodhound said, when he first saw Lady with her new tags:
“Wearin’ the greatest honor man can bestow. The badge of faith and respectability.”
Yes, I feel honored to wear these tags. They’re new! They’re shiny! They make a wonderful jingling sound. I love to run around and listen to my tags jingle as I bounce. It is a terrific sound.
Mom and dad tried to get a close-up of me wearing my tags, but of course I was so excited that I couldn’t hold still. So they finally got a surrogate to model the tag so that you gentle humans could see my tag up close.
Isn’t that a classy tag? Wouldn’t you like to wear it?
Sorry, you can’t. Your name isn’t Bailey. And you are not a dog.