The Shred Bed

Gentle humans, you have probably heard of Conan the Destroyer.  I hear it was a pretty bad movie.  In fact, horrible.  Probably because it didn’t have a puppy in it!

Meet the new Conan:  Presenting, “Puppy, the Destroyer.”

Let me first give you the back story:

When mom and dad go out they leave me inside on my bed.  It can get kind of lonely, just waiting around for them to get home.  There isn’t much for a clever-but-bored puppy to do.  Sure, they leave a few toys around with which I can play, but that quickly gets old.

This puppy needs to run, and jump, and play tug-of-war with dad’s arm.

Last night they went out again.  They went to see “The Pirates of Penzance” * (which, I heard, was much better than Conan).  And where was I?  Did I get to climb over rocky mountains, skipping rivulet and fountains?  No, of course not.  I was left at home again, lying on my bed.

Which brings us up to date in our “Destroyer” plot.  I decided to make my own fun. If they were off watching pirates, I would dig for my own pirate treasure, search for my own pirate booty, chew up my own pirate bed!

And that is just what I did.

You can imagine the shock and dismay on the faces of my humans when they got home and saw my bed in shreds on the floor.  They weren’t sure whether to laugh or to cry.  I guess that’s indicative of good drama.

See, this would have been a much better movie than that Conan flop.

And, the best part is, this is only Act I!  Just wait until they see what I have planned after the intermission!


* If you want to see “The Pirates of Penzance”, presented by Lyric Theatre, call the box office at (408) 986-1455  or visit the website  It closes on Sunday, April 1.


3 responses to “The Shred Bed

  1. I have a friend whose dog shredded about 1/4 of the wallboard in the laundry next to her bed, when mom was late coming home from an event. At least you don’t have to put up new wallboard. (Or maybe I shouldn’t give Bailey any ideas…)

  2. I think that Bailey has a distant cousin called Taffy the Corgi.He has gone through a similar bed , two bike helmets , numerous shoes, my foam pillow and a lot of my clothes.Can’t trust him anymore. I’ve given him some third and fourth chances but he gets to reside in his crate when I’m gone.It’s those innocent eyes that get you and Taffy just points his paw to Dylan “He did it”.

  3. Bailey, YOU are the treasure ye be looking for! Shame on your gentle humans for neglecting you so!

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