Monthly Archives: June 2012

Don’t Forget the Puppy

OK, I can understand that it was a busy day.  I can understand that dad had things to do.  But something was missing in what he had to say when he got home from that work-place yesterday.  Something really big.  Gentle humans, can you tell what was missing?  Here is what he said to mom when he got home:

“Here are the things that I need to do:

  1. Go out and feed the horses.
  2. Throw some chlorine in the pool.
  3. Print some more programs for the show.
  4. Go to the theater to start setting up for tonight’s performance.

I’ll see you at the theater.”

All right, what was missing?

Yes, gentle humans, you are right.  He forgot to include Play with the Puppy!

But you can be sure that I did not let this oversight go uncorrected!  I ran up to him and started whining, and jumping, and pulling on his arm, and he quickly realized his mistake.

“Oh, and there is one more thing that I have to do …”

So we went outside and played before he did anything else. We played fetch, and tug, and “Catch me if you can”, and then sat down and relaxed.

Then, after I let him know that I forgave him forgetting about me, I let him go do his tasks while I went inside where mom fed me.

Apparently, everything got done very well, and the show last night was excellent.  And when he got home late in the evening, I let him know again that I was there.  This time he did not forget about me.  We played again until it was time for bed.

I’m sure that he won’t forget next time!

 

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Flying Saucers

I love to chase things.  I love to run and fetch, bring it back, and do it all over again.  I guess you can call it retrieving.  It is what golden retrievers do really well.

I will retrieve anything … sticks, balls, flower pots, garden ornaments … I will even fetch these round saucer things that are supposed to go on top of buckets.  When mom or dad throw them, they seem to float until they hit the ground, and I retrieve them.

Lots of fun.

But, like I said, they are supposed to go on top of buckets.  They are not really made for throwing, or retrieving.  I can make do, however, with anything that I find in the yard.

Recently mom bought me a new saucer thing.  One that is really made for throwing.  One that is really made for clever pups like me.

Doesn’t it look great?  It is the perfect complement for a handsome puppy like me.  I am very proud of it.  I feel very special chasing and retrieving this saucer thing.  Chasing.  And retrieving.  Chasing and retrieving.

And chewing.  I wonder how long it will last?

 

 

 

Pyro Pup

It is summer, and with summer comes hot days, and hot dogs (puppy-pun intended), and warm evenings.  Evenings that are just right for relaxing around a fire.

But as you gentle humans know, before you can have a campfire you need to collect the firewood.  Dad decided to have a fire, and so I helped him get the fuel necessary.  You see, being a golden retriever, I am very good at, well, retrieving!  After all, that is what I am.

And I knew where a lot of pieces of wood were in the pasture just right for chewing … I mean, burning.  So I ran off to get them for dad.

Each time I brought dad a stick I would gently give it to him.  No, not really.  I would play tug-a-stick with him.  We like to play that game, and so I would pretend to pull the stick out of his hand.  We would go around and around in circles with the stick, until I finally let him have it.

Who says you can’t have a little fun with your work?

Afterwards, the whole family gathered around the campfire and relaxed.  They were going to roast marshmallows, but apparently there were none in the house.  (No, I know what you are thinking, but I didn’t eat them!)  So we just sat there and enjoyed the warm summer evening.

For me, it was a little sad.  while I liked the fire, I didn’t like to see all my favorite sticks and branches going up in flame like that.  Tomorrow I guess I’ll have to go around and find some more to chew and play with.

 

The Magic Kingdom

A friend of my dad’s wrote on his Facebook page:

Bailey is quite an impressive pup! I read several of his blog posts and I can see you have your hands full keeping up with him!!” – Julie R.

Although I’ve never met Julie, I can tell that she is a very smart and perceptive person.  Yes, dad has trouble keeping up with me.  After all, a) he can’t run as fast as I can (I Am Speed, remember?), b) he never knows what mischief I will get into next inside the house, and c) he certainly can’t keep up with my intelligence and blogging ability.

Dad met Julie at some place called Disneyland.  It claims to be “The Happiest Place on Earth,” but how can this be?  It certainly isn’t a happy place for dogs.

Photo credit: Fishbulb

Well, it is if you are a very special dog, like this guide dog whose photo was posted on MiceChat.com:

http://micechat.com/6258-disneyland-dca-attendance/

Isn’t she beautiful?  She was able to go to Disneyland because she was a) a guide dog, helping her special human, and b) she was wearing Minnie Mouse ears.

But they won’t let in a clever pup like me, even if I wore mouse ears or a Goofy hat.

How can they call this place “happy”?? It dogscriminates and won’t let us puppies enter.

I think that I will use my intelligence and go to law school (maybe Puperdine or UC Barkley) when I grow up and earn my J.D. (Juris Doggie) degree.  Then I will become a legal advocate for all canines at Disneyland.  We dogs will have our day in the Park!  They WILL let us in!  After all, we dogs have rights, too!  And leashes!

And then I will take up the legal fight for other pups.

One of the first dogs for whom I will seek legal recourse is this poor fellow who has been working at Disneyland for 45 years with hardly any time off.  Not only that, but he has been working for much less than the minimum wage.  He should be getting at least 10 bones/hour for his employment.  Plus vacations.  And potty-breaks.  (Note for Disneyland guests:  Want to know the real reason why you shouldn’t go into that water???!!!)

Yes, someday I’ll do all that.  Someday, I’ll go to Disneyland.  Can you imagine me there?  A water dog like me would love Splash Mountain.  Chasing cars on the Autopee-a.  Sniffing noses with Pluto.

Someday  …  someday.  All I need is a dream, happy thoughts, and some pixie dust.

Dining Al Fresco

It was a hot day.  I was a hot dog.

So, mom decided that it would be a nice change for me to eat outside, where there was a cool breeze.  Dining al fresco.  How chic.

Except, after my meal was served,  my purry-friend Gilly came over to see what I was dining on, and decided to help himself to some of my dinner!  Can you believe the audacity of that purry-thing?

Even worse, as you can see here, he got so bold as to shove me out of the way so that he could get the best pieces!

Luckily, I am a very sharing pup and we were both able to finish the meal together.

Afterwards, mom was nice and gave me a big treat for dessert.  I didn’t share that with any purry-things!

 

Pup is Pooped

This pup is clever.  This pup is speed.  This pup is … pooped.

Yes, as hard as it might be for you gentle humans to believe, this puppy can get very tired.  After all, it can be hard work, chewing on discarded flower pots or chasing after little doggie toys.

Sometimes it feels nice just to be able to lie down on the lawn and rest for a moment, before getting up and resuming my busy routine.

You ought to try it.  If you are at work, or busy at home doing the laundry, and you feel tired, go outside and lie down on the lawn.  You’ll feel better.

By the way, for any of you who felt that the word “pooped” might have been used in a different, more … ummm … messy connotation, well, shame on you!

 

 

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

I have heard, gentle humans, that sleepologists will tell you that it is important to get a good night’s rest every day.  This good advice is unfortunately ignored by dad, who usually gets only about 5 or 6 hours sleep a night.

He should take lessons from me, the Sleep Expert.

I love to sleep.  I can sleep anywhere, anytime.  Sometimes I like to rest my head on the furniture.  It might take a while to find a comfortable pose, but I can do it.

Other times I just sleep on my back in the middle of the floor.  I will often do this while my people are sitting at the computer, either playing solitaire or getting frustrated that the internet is so slow.

Those things don’t bother me.  I only worry about them rolling over my ears with their chair while I sleep.  That would not be pleasant.  Luckily, so far it hasn’t happened.

One has to learn to sleep in all conditions.  For example, if it is hot, then sleeping by a nice fan is very effective.   Ahhh, feel that nice, cool breeze.

Or, if you are outside, it is always a wonderful experience to lie on the soft lawn.  Listen to the birds in the sky, and the earthworms in the ground … those can easily put me to sleep.

But most important of all, it always helps to have a stuffed toy to sleep with.  Here I am, when I was much younger, sleeping with my toy fox.  Isn’t he cute?  I loved sleeping with that fox …. that is, until I tore it to shreds.  Oh well.

BYOP

Dear gentle humans, when you go out next time, don’t forget to take the clever puppy with you!

Here I am, all spiffed up, and ready to go.  I am even bringing my own bottle.  Yes, I heard that it was a BYOB affair, so I came prepared.

I don’t understand, however, why you humans send out invitations that say “Bring Your Own Bottle”.  I mean, what do you do with them?  I never see you carrying the bottles around in your mouth, like I do, or chewing on them and hearing that lovely crunching sound as your teeth  collapse the plastic.  In fact, when you bring bottles you don’t even empty them out first!  You just bring them, and put them on a table or countertop, and them go off and leave them.

I don’t get it.

The next time you bring a bottle to a party, do what I do … go to the recycle bin and grab one from there.  Choose a nice one that you can carry easily in your mouth.  And make sure that it is empty.

Oh, and one more thing … don’t forget to Bring Your Own Puppy.

 

 

Behold, I tell you a mystery

Dear gentle humans, here is a mystery for you. 

What caused this orange spot on the rug?  Can you figure it out?  It is a nice color, isn’t it?  But how did it get there?  And, who is the culprit who caused  it to appear?

This was the puzzle that greated my mom and dad a couple of nights ago.  They were very baffled by this new artwork on their floor.  And, as they looked further, they found footprints on the tile:

The color sort of blended in with the color of the tile, but very distinctly, there it was:  an orange footprint followed by another, and another.

Indeed, this was a mystery that would have been worthy of Ellery Queen, or Miss Marple, or even Hercule Poirot!  But, alas, they were not around to solve the puzzle.

Do YOU know what this is?  And who done it?

Really?  Do you think that this angelic, clever puppy would be behind such shenanigans?  How could you think such things?

OK, so what if this puppy was the perpetrator of this crime.  You still haven’t solved the riddle of what the orange stuff is.

I don’t think that you would ever guess.  Go ahead, try.

Wrong.  Try again.

Nope.  Still not right.

See, I told you that you’d never guess it.  I knew that you’d never say that it was orange face paint!

Ooops … how did I know that?  Is that a confession?  Can I plead the fifth?  Where is my lawyer?

Horsing Around

I love helping mom and dad feed the horses.  Often they will let me come out with them when they get the hay for them.  It’s great fun to have the pasture gate opened, and to go running out at full speed, dashing around in circles, and zipping into the hay barn.

I still haven’t figured out why horses like to eat hay.  Sure, this pup likes to chew on grass, and sometimes I like to taste a flower or two.  But hay is so … dry, and yucky.  It is only good for climbing on.  So I do.

Look … stairs!

There are other animals that live in the barn.  There are more purry-things that also like to climb on the hay, and sleep there, too.  Mom and dad say they are in the barn to keep the mice away, but I think they are there because it’s fun to play on the hay.  And, of course, being the friendly puppy that I am, I just had to climb up to the top to say “hello.”

After the hay is put out in the pasture for the horses, it is time to let them out of their stalls. Unfortunately, before they let the horses out, mom and dad always put me back into my yard.  Except once.  Dad forgot that I was still in the pasture, and when he opened the stall doors they ran out and I ran with them.  That was fun!  I am fast, as you know, but those horses might be even faster than me!  Dru, the beautiful bay Arabian, and I ran together to the far corner of the pasture and back again.  Dad had a heck of a time catching me and getting me back into my yard.

I can’t wait until I can run with them again.  We’ll see who is really the fastest!