Monthly Archives: October 2012

The Gladiators

They say that the Orca is vicious, ruthless, the ultimate predator.  Even its nickname elicits fear and foreboding:  Killer Whale.  What could possibly be more sinister than that?  Often it has been called “The Most Vicious Creature on Earth”.

Vicious Orca … meet Vicious Puppy.

The two most terrifying creatures on Earth met for the first time.

Vicious Puppy says, “Grrrrr!”

Vicious Orca says, “Squeak.”

These two powerful denizens of the animal kingdom stare at each other, and then slowly engage in lethal combat.  Circling cautiously, they size up their opponent to determine the best course of attack.

Vicious Puppy opens his mouth and says, “Grrrrr!”

Vicious Orca opens his mouth and says, “Squeak.”

They continue the deathly dance, each certain of ultimate victory.  The Vicious Puppy shakes his head … the Vicious Orca wiggles its tail.  They are mutually entangled in this eternal struggle which has – must have – only one inevitable outcome:  One of them must die.

Finally, the fierce battle is over.  The victor proudly walks away from the arena with the crowd shouting in adoration.  In the end, the outcome was never in doubt.  Everyone could see it coming.

The victorious combatant was clearly the stronger, more vicious of the two.  He certainly deserves the title of “The Most Vicious Creature on Earth”.

Vicious Puppy proudly says, “Grrrrr!”

Vicious Orca  says … nothing.

 

 

In the Batting Cage

Many of you gentle humans may have been wondering where I have been these past couple of weeks.  Well, I was busy following the baseball playoffs and practicing my swing.  You see, the Giants are in the World Series, and I figured that they would need an additional bat to help them along.  So I grabbed the lumber and began swinging for the fences.

I don’t think that the horses on the other side of the fence understood, but, you see, there are many players on baseball teams with animal nicknames.  The Oakland A’s had a pitcher named “Catfish”, the “Big Cat” played for Atlanta, and now there is a player for the Giants called “Panda”.  So, why can’t the next big baseball star be the “Clever Puppy”?

So, with that goal in mind, I’ve been practicing swinging the lumber around.  I was getting pretty good at it, too.  I’d swing both from the right and left sides of the plate, just in case a switch hitter was needed.

Even practiced my growl:  “Grrrr!”  That is sure to strike fear in any opposing pitcher.

The problem was … there was no ball for me to hit.  So I had to practice making contact with something else.  Something else that was nearby, and moving, and easy to hit.

Something like … dad’s leg!  I swung really hard and made great contact with his left leg!  You should have heard him shout … I could tell it was a good hit.  Probably a home run.  I tried for at least a double by swinging for his other leg …

Strike!  I missed.  But I tried again.

After several swings … and more misses, my bat broke!  So I picked up the bigger piece and lay down to chew on it.  I have decided that I am ready for the World Series.  Now I just need to wait for the Giants to call.  I’m sure that they can use another fierce, fast player in their lineup.  Especially if they are going up against the Tigers.  They need a Dog in there … a dog who isn’t afraid of a big striped purry-thing.

I’m ready!  “Puppy” … I mean “Batter Up!”