They arrived on Christmas. Meet the Dragons:
Their names are Puff, Smaug, and Elliot
Now, read the audacious claim that their manufacturer makes on the box in which they were packed:
These dragons are so tough we guarantee them! If your dog destroys the toy, we will send you a free replacement! Send photos of the destroyed toy to firstname.lastname@example.org
How can they claim that a dog, especially THIS clever pup, cannot possible defeat this plush dragon? After all, I have already made mincemeat out of plush bunnies, and piggies, and orcas … these dragons don’t look any less destructible.
So I started on Christmas Day with Puff, the first dragon that was in my stocking that morning. Mom gave him to me and I was immediately interested in seeing what made this dragon so tough.
I put him down and studied him. Puff didn’t look particularly strong. He didn’t have armor made of bony scales, like a real dragon might. He didn’t have any claws with which to defend himself, and the “spike” on his tail was made of soft felt.
Heck, he didn’t even breathe fire.
The more I looked at him the more I realized that Puff only had one purpose … and that was for me to chew him!
And sometimes, when I squeezed his body just right, he would make a loud “squeak”.
I have to admit that I am somewhat impressed with this dragon. If you will recall, my fight with the Orca lasted less than 30 minutes before I had defeated the vicious Killer Whale (read about here: http://wp.me/p262M4-dt).
But Puff wasn’t giving in so easily. I have been chewing on him now for two days and he is still intact, or at least mostly intact. However, if you look closely at his tail, you will see that I have begun to make some progress. He is definitely showing signs of distress, and it won’t be long now until he raises the white flag of surrender. But I will not stop until I have removed that squeaker!
I will keep you gentle humans updated regarding my progress. Indestructible, indeed! Ha! This clever puppy will see about that!