Dog-proof?? Ha!

They arrived on Christmas.  Meet the Dragons:

December 062

Their names are Puff, Smaug, and Elliot

Now, read the audacious claim that their manufacturer makes on the box in which they were packed:

These dragons are so tough we guarantee them! If your dog destroys the toy, we will send you a free replacement! Send photos of the destroyed toy to info@quakerpetgroup.com

December 066How can they claim that a dog, especially THIS clever pup, cannot possible defeat this plush dragon?  After all, I have already made mincemeat out of plush bunnies, and piggies, and orcas … these dragons don’t look any less destructible.

So I started on Christmas Day with Puff, the first dragon that was in my stocking that morning.  Mom gave him to me and I was immediately interested in seeing what made this dragon so tough.

December 067I put him down and studied him.  Puff  didn’t look particularly strong.  He didn’t have armor made of bony scales, like a real dragon might.  He didn’t have any claws with which to defend himself, and the “spike” on his tail was made of soft felt.

Heck, he didn’t even breathe fire.

The more I looked at him the more I realized that Puff  only had one purpose … and that was for me to chew him!

December 072And that is exactly what I did. I grabbed him and swung him around in my mouth, and started chewing on his hind leg.  Then I chewed on his wings, and then on his tail.

And sometimes, when I squeezed his body just right, he would make a loud “squeak”.

I have to admit that I am somewhat impressed with this dragon.   If you will recall, my fight with the Orca lasted less than 30 minutes before I had defeated the vicious Killer Whale (read about here: http://wp.me/p262M4-dt).

December 071But Puff  wasn’t giving in so easily.  I have been chewing on him now for two days and he is still intact, or at least mostly intact.  However, if you look closely at his tail, you will see that I have begun to make some progress.  He is definitely showing signs of distress, and it won’t be long now until he raises the white flag of surrender.  But I will not stop until I have removed that squeaker!

I will keep you gentle humans updated regarding my progress.  Indestructible, indeed!  Ha!   This clever puppy will see about that!

Advertisements

2 responses to “Dog-proof?? Ha!

  1. Those dastardly squeakers…they sound the death knell for all so called “indestructible” plush animals!!

  2. Alas, poor dragon… I suspect you’ll have him in pieces before too long.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s