Monthly Archives: August 2014

Forget the Cracker Jack

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1The baseball season is getting exciting. The A’s are still the best team in the league, but they are starting to show signs of wearing down. They are getting tired, in need of some fresh blood to revitalize them. They are in need of The Clever Puppy.

Remember a couple of years ago when the Giants were on their way to winning the World Series? At that time I knew they would need some extra power at the plate to survive the stretch drive, so I started practicing my swing.  I posted about it here: http://wp.me/p262M4-dk

So, in order to get ready to help the A’s, dad and I went over to the ball field to get in some practice running the base paths. 2Of course, we had to start at home plate, and I was ready to go. As I circled the bases I imagined that I had just hit a long drive to the wall and was racing around with the winning run. 4Could I stretch that hit into an inside-the-park home run? Of course I could! After all, who can run faster than me? Nobody! Remember, I am speed!

Along the way, however, I had to practice sliding into second base. 5That was fun! Dad tried to pretend that he was the shortstop going to tag me out, but he wasn’t fast enough. I easily beat his tag and was SAFE!

After that I got up and kept running, and crossed home plate ahead of the throw from the outfield with the winning run!  3Yay! Our team wins again!

That was a great outing. I proved to the scouts who were watching that I was ready to play. Now I just have to wait until September to see if I get called up to the Big Leagues!

Puppy Up!

* By the way, I know that “night”, the final word in the song at the top of this post, doesn’t really rhyme with “bites”, but hey! It is just as good as the poor rhyming in the original song! Don’t believe me?  Look it up!

 

 

Big Bird

Have you seen the movie Up?? It’s the one where the old man flies away in a house carried by zillions of helium balloons. DugDo you know that one? Most of mom and dad’s friends love that movie, although they themselves are more lukewarm about it. I must admit that I like the movie. I particularly like two of the actors, Dug and Kevin.

Dug is the golden retriever in the movie. That’s what makes this a great film … every movie needs a golden retriever! It is a given. Enough woofed.

In today’s post, however, I really want to talk about Kevin. iPhone 8_31_13 005You see, we had a real-life encounter with Kevin. One day mom went outside to get into her car, when suddenly she saw something big — and alive — on her car! It was a huge bird. Dad (the zoologist) said that it was a pea hen, a female of the pea fowl type that most gentle humans simple call peacocks. Whatever.

This bird was big, and it was messy. 020One of their friends (it might have been Amy, or Kiersten) called it “Kevin” after the bird in the movie. And Kevin stuck. And stuck around. She liked the front yard, she liked the lawn, and she especially liked the cars. She was always sitting on them, walking on them, making a mess on them.

Mom and dad didn’t know what to do, or what to think. I’m pretty sure, however, that they didn’t like all the messes.

I guess the main reason why Kevin stayed was that she liked the menu. 012You see, she loved the kibble that mom puts outside for the feral purry-things. There are about eight of these purry-things who live in the yard, and they must have been broken because mom keeps taking them in to be fixed. Anyway, everyday mom will feed them, and it turns out that Kevin liked the purry-thing’s food. The purries weren’t quite sure what to think at first, but since they don’t think much anyway everyone seemed to get along quite well.

But one day, after about 3 months, it rained, and Kevin left. She took off, vanished. KevinMom and dad don’t know where she went, and she never came back. I actually missed her … it was fun to run outside and chase her around and hear her make funny noises. So mom bought me a replacement Kevin … one that looks like the one in the movie.

I was not satisfied with this plushy Kevin. I miss the real thing.

Oh, and in case you haven’t seen the move and are wondering, Kevin in the movie — just like our Kevin — were females.

What’s Your Sign?

I am not a follower of astrology. When one of you gentle humans asks me what my sign is, I usually just sit there with my tail wagging, politely waiting for a doggie treat or a pat on the head.

iPhone 023All I know about signs is that they are usually bad.

For example, there is this one that discriminates against clever pups. What have they got against dogs, and why won’t they let us play?

1-11 015And there’s this one which says that we have to be restrained at all times. Dogs like to roam free, to explore, to discover, to chase squirrels.

Instead, we have to be tethered like some sort of wild animal.

You never see a sign that says purry-things need to be on a leash, do you? But I know you all agree that purry-things can be more vicious than us polite pups.

However, I did find a sign that speaks to me. sign2No, really, it does. The good gentle humans in North Vancouver have these signs that are bilingual, written words that both you gentle humans and we clever pups can read.

It is very considerate of them. I think that I will have to go to that place and thank them myself.

And, maybe when I do, they will give me a doggie treat and a pat on the head.

“Grrrrr, bark, woof!”

No Ghost Writer

“When the dad’s away, the pup will play!” Bailey's new toy 1-8-2012 011

Hello again, gentle humans. How many of you have every heard that famous quote (above)? What? You mean that you have NEVER heard that one?! You say it isn’t famous?

Well, it should be!!

Anyway, dad was gone this week and just got home a couple of days ago. He was away visiting someone named Ann Arbor. (Hmm, I wonder if mom knows about her??) He was gone for the whole week, and I was sad. Ann ArborI moped around the house a lot, waiting for him to get home. Sometimes I lay at the top of the stairs,  chewing on some twine from the hay bales, and sometimes I lay at the bottom of the stairs, by the door, waiting for him to walk in.

He would call home every night, but mom never let him talk to me. I think that she was afraid that I’d lick the phone and get it all slobbery with doggie saliva.

But, at least with dad being away, it gives me a good opportunity to dispel a myth that many of you gentle humans have:

The myth that dad really writes these blogs for me!

Bailey back home 8-11-2012I don’t see how anyone can think that. I mean, I am the clever pup. I am the one with all the great ideas! I am the one who can write. Dad has often said that he wishes he could write half as well as I do!

So, just to prove that he doesn’t write these, while he was away you will notice that I posted another entry!  Yessir-ree pup, I – the clever puppy – posted a blog entry without my dad being home!

So that should prove to you that it is I and not he that writes these blogs.

Of course, now that the truth is out, it might hurt dad’s feelings that you know the facts. So, the next time you see him, say something nice to cheer him up.

Maybe you can give him a dog bone.

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59th Street Bridge Song

“Slow down, you move too fast,

You’ve got to make the morning last,

Just kickin’ down the cobblestones,

Lookin’ for fun and feeling … squeaky!”

 

Good morning, gentle humans. I hope that you are in fine spirits today.

I am.Christmas 2013 023 

I am feeling downright swell today. In fact, you could call me “squeaky.”

Yes, squeaky, because that is what I sound like. You see, I simply love these plush toys that mom gets for me, like this purple plush dinosaur (no, it is NOT Barney). This is an old photo; I got this toy a few months ago. I immediately started chewing on it, and everytime I did it would make a terrific squeaking noise. I love that noise. I love it so much that I have to get the squeaker out!

Bailey 010412 003Those of you who have been following my blog for a while know that this is a goal that I always have: Get the Squeaker! Here is the squeaker once it was removed.

When I get it out I will put it in my mouth and lie on the floor, squeaking! That drives mom and dad crazy … they can’t figure out where the noise is coming from!

It’s coming from ME! That’s what I mean when I say that “I’m feeling squeaky.”

I hope that you are having a good day, too. I hope that you are also feeling squeaky!

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The Acting Bug

Mom and dad are in another stage musical. Well, mom is, anyway. Dad is working backstage. The show is called Oliver! and it just opened last night. I hear that the first performance went very well; that audience loved it and they barked and jumped and clapped their paws …  I’m kidding, of course. They didn’t let puppies in to see the show.

I think that they should let dogs in to see these musicals! In fact, they should let us perform on stage! BasketWell, sometimes they do. Remember when they did Annie? A dog got to play the role of “Sandy”. And you remember when I wanted to audition for The Wizard of Oz? Yes, I would have made a great “Toto” but I couldn’t fit into the basket. Here is my post on that subject:

http://wp.me/p262M4-8U

Yessir-ree pup, Oliver 1I think they should let me be onstage for Oliver! I could do a great job!  For example, here is the opening scene with Melanie and the orphans. Can you picture me in the role of Oliver? I could hold my bowl and say, “Arf, sir. I want some more! Arf! Arf!” And, if he doesn’t give me any more, then I could bite his leg!

Or maybe I could be in the Sowerberry Funeral Parlor scene with mom. Oliver 2Imagine me helping to find a hat to fit Oliver. I could make that a really funny scene! Maybe, after mom tries the hat on Oliver, she would give it to me and I could chew it up!

That would be a wonderful scene.  I know the audience would laugh and love it!

Well, the show just opened and it runs for four more weekends. There is still time for me to get into the action. Do you think I can? Do you think I should!?

Arf!  So do I!

If you are interested in seeing the show, and seeing if I indeed can get into the cast at the last minute, here is the website for more information:

http://svct.org/

And if you do go, please give me a standing ovation. And dog treats! After all, I want some more!

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