Do You Speak Squeak?

Hello, gentle humans. Do you read the comics? I do, every day! I especially like the ones about the clever pups, like Snoopy. Those are the best. The dogs are always funnier, and cuter, and smarter than the humans that they are with.

Recently I found this comic, called Red and Rover.

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You can guess which is the smarter character … obviously, the one who is bilingual.

“Squeak … squeak … squeak”

027Squeaky toys have a special fascination for all of  us clever pups. I will play for hours with one of my squeakies, often to the dismay of mom or dad who might be (trying to) watch a movie or have a conversation.

“Squeak … squeak … squeak”

It is especially fun when I can get one of the squeakers out of the toy! When I do that I will put the squeaker in my mouth and then I can be the squeaky toy! Often it takes mom and dad a long time to figure out from where the sound is coming!

“Squeak … squeak … squeak”

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Of course, whenever  I do perform a squeakectomy on a squeaky toy to remove the squeaker, it often isn’t a pretty sight. There are bits of toy covers and toy stuffing all over the place.

But I don’t care … I got what I want!

The squeaker!

“Squeak … squeak … squeak”

 

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Places for Act 1

Hello again, gentle humans. It is I, Bailey the clever but  very quiet pup. Yes, I know it’s been a very long time since I updated this blog, but finally here it is!

An Update!!

Can you believe it? Well, you better, because here it is! And I have some very Important News to tell you!

You may recall from some of my previous blog posts that my family is very involved with the theater. For example, dad just produced an operetta up in San José for Lyric Theatre – a production of Gilbert & Sullivan’s Patience. And last year Colleen directed a show which had a cow and a hen in it – but no clever pups – called Into the Woods. Well, this year the family is all in on the SVCT kids’ musical Annie, Jr. and guess what: There is a part for ME in it! Yes, I will be playing the role of Sandy, the mutt. Here I am at a publicity photo shoot with Tegan, the girl who will be playing Annie.

I think that I will actually be sharing the role with another clever pup. Mason is also a Golden Retriever, just like me. I’m perfectly fine with that. After all, we big stars get the big perks, and one of those is days off to rest and restore our energy. After all, this is big time show business! Mason will do a great job on those days when I am answering all my fan mail.

I even have lines to learn. Really! I just saw the script, and during Annie’s big song “Tomorrow” there are lines for Sandy. LOOK! You can seen them too.

So I’ll need someone with whom I can practice my lines. I could ask the white purry thing that lives with us, but he wouldn’t be much help. He just sleeps all day, and purrs and rubs on mom’s or dad’s leg when he wants to be fed.

No, I’ll have to ask someone else for help. Maybe one of the horses in the back yard, or perhaps the clever pup who lives next door. One of them would be sure to help me. After all, this is my big break! I don’t want to miss my cue!

We open in Morgan Hill in about a month. After that, who knows? Maybe we’ll go on tour! We’ll be as big a hit as Hamilton! Arf, we’ll be even bigger than Hamilton! Dog-nab-it, I am getting excited! I am NOT throwing away my dog bone!

 

 

A Special Day Indeed!

Hello, gentle humans! Do you know what day today is? Yes, you’re right, it is February 23. And yes, it is also the birthday of some very special people.

But most importantly, today is NATIONAL DOG BISCUIT DAY!

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I wonder who was the clever gentle human who thought of designating a day just for the joy and celebration of the dog biscuit? db1It is the most wonderful thing in the world.  They are tasty and crunchy and fabulous.  I look forward to my daily dog biscuit every morning. It is the highlight of my day. (Well, one of my highlights.)

Anyway, will take my dog biscuit and run outside with it. Sometimes I will leave it in a conspicuous place for later enjoyment while I go off to take care of other business, and sometimes I will eat it right away. In either case, it is a delicious culinary experience.

And once I am finished, I run up to mom or dad and ask for a second one.

db2Yessiree dog, these biscuits are wonderful treats and very worthy of a special day in their honor. So, on this grand, sunny day, I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to you – if it is your birthday – and a very HAPPY DOG BISCUIT DAY to me!

Before I run off to enjoy my biscuit, I have one last question for you. How many of you gentle humans have ever eaten one of these delicious morsels? Huh?

My dad has!!

Did Somebody Lose Neverland?

A few days ago my mom and dad went to find Neverland. neverland2Well, they actually went to see what you gentle humans call a “musical” entitled Finding Neverland. I guess that – judging by the title – Neverland is something that was lost and the story is about the search for this Neverland, whatever it is.

I don’t know if they ever found it, but mom and dad came back that night and said that it was a really good show and that they were glad that they went.

But whether or not they found it is not the issue here. neverlandWhat is important is that there was a dog in the cast!

Yes, a real live dog on stage. The name of the dog in the show is “Porthos” and the dog portraying him was named Sammy. He ran and sat and jumped on people as directed. I can do all that, too!

neverland4I hear that Sammy did a wonderful job. In fact, one of dad’s Facebook friends said so online. She called his performance “amazing”. Of course it was! He is a dog; what more would you expect? All dogs are amazing.

There is one very interesting note about this show. As I said earlier, I can do all the same things that Sammy did on stage. And even Sammy needs a rest once in a while, so he has an understudy.  Here is the listing of all the understudies in the show. What do you see?neverland3

What Was All Over the Place? Part 2

Last time we talked, gentle humans, I told you about something that was all over the place during our hike. pokemonI still don’t know what that mom was talking about, and none of you readers have given me any hints. I’m a little disappointed that you couldn’t help me out. I guess I will just have to keep wondering.

I wonder if she could have been referring to all the puddles of water that were all over the place. 1-13-6As you may know, we just had a week of torrential precipitation where is was raining puppies and purry-things (well, not literally, you understand). Many streets and pastures were flooded, as our trail. Although the weather was sunny and dry on the day we hiked, the water had not all gone away. There were many spots where we had to go around or wade through pools (or small lakes) to continue on our hike.

There was so much water, in fact, that I was wondering if I was actually on the Oregon Trail.

How many of you recognize the source of my comment? oregon-fordWell, there was this old video game that mom & dad’s daughters loved to play, where they would have to ford rivers and shoot bunnies just to get to this place called Oregon. It was a very early game on their first Apple computer, and they had lots of fun with it. But I wonder how much fun you can have playing a game where you can get dysentery. oregon-trailThat doesn’t sound like fun at all.

Anyway, there were lots of these puddles for us to ford. Maybe that is what was “all around the place”? paw-printsOr perhaps it was paw prints, because every time we walked through the water I would leave behind prints. maybe THIS is what was all over? I don’t know.

It could have been paw prints, or it could have been puddles, or (like I suggested last time) it could have been squirrels. But something was all over the place.

1-13-4I guess I’ll never know. Time to move on. Not to worry about it, anyway. Probably wasn’t important. Certainly not as important as my next meal. Or napping on my comfy bed. Or playing with my humans.

Today is supposed to be another sunny day. A little chilly, perhaps, but I’m okay with that … I’ve got my warm coat. Maybe dad will bundle up and take me for another walk today.

What do you think? Will he?

What Was All Over the Place? Part 1

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Good morning, gentle humans. Yesterday was a wonderful day. The rain had stopped, it was clear and sunny outside, and dad and I went for a walk. It was great to get back outside!

1-13-2Here you can see me as we walked towards one of the rest areas along the hike. There is a real nice bench on which to sit, and overhang to provide some shade, and a garbage can for …

Well, dad immediately went to the garbage can and put in a little plastic bag. I don’t know why he was carrying that bag around with him. In fact, I don’t know where he got it … I don’t remember a little plastic bag full of something when we got out of the car …

Oh well. After he put in the little bag we sat down to rest. 1-13-3I didn’t really need to stop, and I don’t think dad was exhausted either. But we figured that since someone had put this bench there then we would use it.

While we were sitting there a bunch of little humans came along the path, all looking at their cell phone. They were engrossed in that phone and I had no idea what was so interesting. But dad knew, I think. He asked the mom who was with them, “Any luck?”

And she replied, “Oh yes, they’re all over the place!”

Dad laughed, but I didn’t get it. What was all over the place? Squirrels? Rocks? It made no sense to me.

pokemonWe continued on our walk and I was still wondering, What was all over the place? I didn’t see anything except green grass and blue sky.

I don’t know. Maybe dad will explain it to me some day.

Or maybe YOU will! Do you know what was all over the place?  Will you tell me?

Wanted: One Ark, in Good Condition

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Hello, gentle humans. Many of you have texted or emailed me asking how I am doing with all the rain and floods that we have been experiencing this week.

flood5I can tell you this … it has been WET!

Very wet. Dad and I went out – with his umbrella, I might add – to see how bad it really was. Let me tell you … it was WET!

The nice weather lady had predicted several inches of rain for our area. We haven’t see this much precipitation in years, especially in the 35 dog-years that I have lived here. Also, since we have been in a drought for a very long time I kind of doubted that we would see that much rain fall down.

Well, we did. It rained, and it rained, and it RAINED! flood1Just look at this photo of our side pasture, with our neighbors’ house on the right. Yes, that is water going right up to their house. Soon after we took this photo they were outside putting bags of sand next to the house to keep the water out. Luckily our house is to left of the photo where the ground is higher. If the water got THAT high then we are really in a pickle!

Here is anotherflood2 picture of the pasture where mom’s horses spend most of their days. But not on this day! The horses stayed inside their barn, where it was warm and dry.

That’s what I wanted to be … warm and dry. So I pulled the leash and persuaded dad to come back inside. Back where I could flood4get out of the rain. I quickly found a comfy spot where I could lie down and relax. A spot that was very warm and dry indeed.

The rain was fascinating to watch and it was exciting to see the water getting higher and higher in the pasture. But it was even better to get inside where this clever, warm, and dry puppy belonged!

Let it rain.

Outside.

Football is Over

Bailey Football Training Camp 8-2012 024Well, it’s finally here. Tonight is the last game of the college football season. The winner gets all the dog bones. This is the game to determine who is the Top Dog. Barking rights for the next few months.

It took a long time in getting here. With this new system of playoff games the season seems to go on forever, instead of wrapping up neatly on January 1 like it used to.

Oh well, I guess it’s for the better. People always want to know who is Number One and this system determines that.

uwUnfortunately the team that I was favoring didn’t make it past the semi-finals. They were like me, a real team of dawgs … Huskies to be precise. I figured that I had to get on the bandwagon for the Dog’s Team. I was barking for them to go all the way.

But they didn’t win that game. (Insert sad puppy-face here.)

So instead I’m faced with the option of either rooting for an oceanic event or very big purry-things. It is a hard choice because neither resemble puppies at all.

clemsonExcept … wait a minute. One side is favored to win, and that makes the other team: The Underdog! Arf! I will root for the underdog. And which team is that? Oh no, it is the purry- things. Oh well, then that is the team for whom I will bark. It would have been better if it had been Huskies instead of big, striped purries, but I will take what I can get.

Bailey Football Training Camp 8-2012 026Besides, it will soon be over and time to turn our attention to other things. It’ll be time to watch the days get longer, and warmer, and to go on nice, long hikes.

Besides, it’ll be time to get a new football!

World Connoisseur

Greetings, gentle humans! Once again it is I, Bailey, this time writing to you on a very cold and wet Saturday. It is not a good day to go outside for a walk, or a run. In fact, it is not a good day to go outside at all.

iphone-may-16-085I’ll just stay inside, curl up on dad’s lap, and eat snacks.

A few days ago one of you left a comment on my blog about eating treats. You said that you hoped I didn’t eat any treats made in some place called China because you wanted me to be healthy.

snacksWell, I can report that I do eat snacks that are made safe for us dogs.  For example, I got this package as a special gift on Christmas from Suzy. Now, Suzy happens to be one of those purry-things, but she is a very nice purry-thing who does not scratch or hiss at people. Usually she just hides. But anyway, she lives with a very special human named Nikki (I always love it when Nikki comes to visit) and usaSuzy sent these treats for me. If you look closely at the package you will see that they are made in some place called the USA. They are supposed to be better for me. (Dad told me that USA stands for “Unix System Administrator”. I don’t know if I believe him.)

These snacks were tasty, VERY tasty! There are only a few left in the package! I will have to write Suzy a thank you letter.

Of course, all my food doesn’t have to come from the USA. I eat food from all over the world. For example, I just love cheese, and that comes from France. I also love German sausage, and Belgian waffles, and English muffins, and Italian pizza, and … well, I like just about anything – anything at all – that I can get from mom or dad’s plate.

Rest Interrupted

Hello again, gentle humans. One of the things that I like to do is lie down and relax while dad is running his trains. At Christmastime it is especially nice because the trains circle the Christmas tree and it seems even more festive.

So there I was, one day a little after Christmas, resting by the tree when I was disturbed by a little finger touching my nose. ham1I tried to ignore it, but it didn’t go away. I guess that the finger, which was attached to the littlest and not-so-gentle-at-times human, was trying to get a reaction from me. I pretended that it wasn’t there. Certainly that would work, wouldn’t it?

Besides, it smelled funny. Who knows what that hand had picked up? Yuck …

But the finger didn’t go away. ham3In fact, it invited the other four on that hand to join it in rubbing my neck. Okay, I must admit that it felt good. After all, I am a pup – a sensitive pup at that – and the attention was welcomed, as long as it remained nice and calm.

But the train was getting close and I thought that would distract this little human and I could go back to my nap. At least that is what I hoped for.

It worked … sort of. ham2As the train chugged by the hand went away, but now he was turning himself upside-down to see the world (or at least the room) the way that I viewed it. I wouldn’t give in … I would keep ignoring him.

Eventually it worked, and he went back to playing with the train while I went back to sleeping. Sometimes it is hard being a dog.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way!